Globetrotters

Bless my mom’s heart. I mean, she’s my mom so, obviously, I love her. And she’s wise and knows a lot of things about a lot of things. But, sports—eh, not so much.

I remember as a little boy, asking my mom who the best basketball team was. I was shocked when she didn’t say it was my beloved Portland Trailblazers but was, in fact, a team called the Harlem Globetrotters. “The Harlem Globetrotters have never lost a game.”

“They’ve never lost a game?” I said, my eyes wide with the wonder of a child.

“No. Never.”

To this day, I still don’t know if she was being serious or if she was pulling my leg. In fact, in a technical sense, she was correct. They have never lost a game and that makes them the best team. I mean, every team that has ever set foot on a basketball court has lost a game—except for the Harlem Globetrotters.

Who doesn’t know the Harlem Globetrotters? Who doesn’t like them? Even people who don’t really like basketball or sports enjoy the antics of the Harlem Globetrotters. Quite literally, these guys in their stars and stripes clad outfits, travel the world, entertaining millions of all ages with tricky dunks, slick passes, and even the occasional pantsing. More of an entertainment troupe than a sports spectacle (and, occasional mystery solvers, as on their many cartoon appearances on Scooby Doo), they offer a reprieve from the seriousness that has overtaken the world—even the sports world.

The Globetrotters are on their annual tour around the United States and will be in Portland, Oregon on the 27th of December. Believe it or not, I have never seen them in person. Sure, I’ve seen them on TV, but, live and in person? That experience won’t arrive until this December.

Performing at the Moda Center, home to, of course, the Portland Trail Blazers, an actual basketball team, the night is sure to be full of clean family fun, hijinks and spectacular dunks. My wife and kids are all coming. My wife, in fact, is more excited than I am. She loves a good show. My son, who is playing basketball this year, is excited to watch for the “Tips.” Of course, I explained to him that if he tries some of the moves by the Globetrotters, he will be penalized and hurt his team.

“They’re cheaters?” He said.

“Well, kind of.”

He’s still excited to go. I bought my four tickets already. You should get yours before they sell out. The Portland Trail Blazers may lose some games this year, but, rest assured, the Globetrotters will not.

I will see you there!

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